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Pregnancy – is happiness or strained for everyone around you?

“Over the weekend, toxicosis raged. In this regard, I lie half-dead on the couch. My husband had already managed to run to the store in the morning, cook dinner, and now he is vacuuming. And he made his son wipe the dust. The child carries a rag on the shelves and periodically glances at me. Then she whispers to her husband: “Why? We will do everything for mom now?”
Why do some pregnant women always need attention and care, and what to do about it? What if she always cries, and everyone around her must ride day and night? Or maybe it is right?
Often, pregnancy becomes a severe test not only for the woman herself, but also for her relatives and relatives. This is because the expectant mother makes too many claims and demands to her surroundings, which are often not only biased, but sometimes absurd. However, she knows that any desire of a pregnant woman is a law, and must be satisfied as soon as possible, and she unconsciously begins to manipulate her loved ones, relying on this attitude.
Naturally, the husband gets the lion’s share of work to satisfy the whims of the mother of his unborn child. And if he more or less copes with this task, then the rest of the environment of the pregnant woman suffers to a lesser extent. If for some reason the husband does not meet the expectations placed on him, the woman can turn her attention to her relatives – her own parents, friends, and relatives.
To childless friends and relatives who are generally not particularly interested in this side of life, such claims on the part of the expectant mother may seem unfounded. At best, they will not react to them at all; at worst, they will either stop communicating or show certain emotional reactions and discontent. This, in turn, may cause new conflicts and a whole tangle of new negative feelings, complaints and grievances. The result is stress, anxiety and negative experiences for both parties.
In addition, surrounding childless women and men can form a negative attitude towards pregnancy, in principle, because for 9 months they observed an ugly picture of relationships and conflicts between two people, and maybe they themselves participated in this interaction. Of course, such a presentation can be worked out and destroyed, but the degree of sensitivity and suggestibility varies from one person to another.
Negative consequences can be for the very future mother. For example, if a pregnant woman emotionally manipulates her husband, and her husband endures, then later, when the pregnancy ends and a completely different routine begins, and the woman continues the usual pattern of interaction, her husband’s reaction and actions may be completely different. At best, he ceases to respond to the pressure and requests of his wife, indicating to her directly that her time has passed, that is, the pregnancy is over, and now he is not obliged to fulfill all the whims of his wife and to endure her emotional drops. In the worst case – it can go into open conflict, completely withdraw from household chores, from communicating with the child and his upbringing. There may be frequent absences, late arrivals, and sometimes a mistress. There are frequent cases of divorce of spouses in the first year after the birth of the child precisely because of the fact that the conflicts of pregnancy and the postpartum period have not been worked through.
It is also important to remember that the constantly present negative background of the future mother’s mood is a stressful factor that will negatively affect the health of the future child. After all, stress hormones constantly released into the mother’s blood flow through the placenta into the child’s body, and he records a negative experience of the passage of this period.
The question arises why some pregnant women show inadequacy in behavior, expressed by emotional manipulation, resentment at her husband, sometimes open conflicts, aggression, and even depressive background mood. The reasons here can be many.
Of course, objectively the strongest impact have bursts of hormonal, which is closely related to the emotional. However, such bursts cannot be daily and regular and, as a rule, appear only at the beginning and at the end of pregnancy, when the body prepares first for bearing, and then for birth, and all its systems, including hormonal, are rebuilt.
A more common reason is the lack of development of relationships and role-playing positions between spouses, which existed and was not realized and resolved before pregnancy. In this case, changes in the hormonal background are simply superimposed on the emotional blocks and thus only activate what already existed in a latent form.
The degree of awareness of both spouses, the ability to find compromises in communication, the desire for mutual understanding – all this can be a good diagnostic tool for the problem of inadequate claims and demands of a pregnant woman, as well as a way to work them out.